…Inside The Black Man's World


August 28, 2011

Who is SBF (Single Black Female)?

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Written by: singleblackf
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Single Black Female

Your QUICK 3 Snaps and Around The World Guide To: The Single Black Female

Hello world, You already know me. I need no introduction. I am the world’s single. Black. Female. Now that alone says a lot. I could be one of MANY different women. I could be waking up early mornings going for walks or working out before I go to school or work at my dead end 9 to 5 job. I could be on the train with my roller bag on my way to a casting call. I could be in the grocery store shopping for dinner with my sweats and Jordan’s on. I could be painted down, face beat, in my Louboutins leaving at midnight to go party in VIP with my girls. Maybe I have a child or I may even have two.

What’s the first thing you say when you see me? Do you wonder where I’m headed. Do you ask yourself what my dreams, goals, and aspirations are? Do you wonder how my day was or if I’m even having a good one? How about the question; “Where her man at?” and “Why is she single?” I KNOW you ask those questions. Well ,the answer isn’t simple. Sometimes I’m single because I want to be. Sometimes I don’t want to be bothered by anyone. Sometimes I’m single because I’m afraid of being hurt. I’ve been down that road before and I’ll be damned if I take that trip again. Sometimes I’m single because I have trust issues and in my mind everyone is shady. There are even times when I’m single because I want to straight up play the field. There’s such a wide variety out there and I want my pick of the flock. I mean, what’s wrong with that? Men do it. I make my own money and I buy my own bottles. So what’s stopping me from getting a man? Yeah, I know that’s what you REALLY wanna know. “Oh, she must be crazy.” I’m sure that’s what you’re saying to yourself right now.

Honestly, I very well just may be crazy. Crazy to think I need to better myself before I seek a mate. Crazy because I’m not falling for every line men AND the occasional woman may throw my way. Crazy to believe there’s more to the world than finding a man to take care of me, getting pregnant and being a house wife. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with all of those things. Some of our strongest women are soccer moms who take care of the home and the family.

Personally I had one of the best of the strong women. My mother stayed home with my sister and I and taught us how to be women. So yes, I know how to cook, clean; the whole nine, but I chose a different path. I chose to reach for my personal dreams and not to pattern myself after anyone’s vision for my life. Most single women seem jaded, but today’s single woman isn’t necessarily played out and tired. Today, she knows her worth. Her position. And she is willing to play her role. She even wants to one day have a family. The one thing today’s single black woman isn’t doing however, is tolerating any nonsense. As far as I’m concerned when people bring nonsense my way I immediately dismiss them and later cast my cares. I refuse to dwell on the bafoonery men and women kick nowadays. It’s like an epidemic of ignorance going on and I will not drink from that fountain.

Yeah we come in all shapes sizes and colors, with all kinds of moods and attitudes. One thing that is changing for us though is that today’s single, black, SUCCESSFUL woman is educated and very ambitious. Some may be a little bitter, but that’s not a woman issue… that’s a world issue. Let’s start using our brains people! Instead of generalizing let’s start looking at individuals. I know your mind is now blown. All of your stereotypes and misconceptions have now been challenged. This is just the beginning. I plan to lay it all the way out for you. Before this is over you will be vastly knowledged on the subject of the Single Black Female, so stay tuned. I’ll be your tutor, your tour guide, and your consultant. This has been your quick, three snaps and around the world guide to today’s single black woman. Take it all in and enjoy :).

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About the Author

A Single Black Female's perspective on love, life, and living with the black men who just don't understand what women want.




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