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September 25, 2012

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Monogamy, and Other Fairytales

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Written by: singleblackf
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I’m sure you’re wondering what Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Monogamy all have to do with each other right? It’s all really pretty simple. This particular topic is whether or not monogamy still exists or if it’s just a fairytale that started with a song, which then sparked a conversation. The song was MoKenStef’s “He’s Mine” where the groups lead vocalist dispenses what I’m sure felt to her like sage advice directed at the other woman…. “I wouldn’t waste my time tellin you something wrong…you’ve been with him one night, now he’s commin home… He’s mine, you may have had him once but I got him all the time.” Now some might say that this is just a song, strictly for entertainment purposes, but I beg to differ.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m all for a woman standing by her man…..if he’s a GOOD MAN…but this shit right here!!!….

These songs, or rather this whole line of thinking is passed down from generation to generation, from mother to daughter. From the original old school woman scorned anthem… Betty Wright’s “Woman to Woman” to today’s version of the same ol’ sad song… Jennifer Hudson and Fantasia’s “I’m His Only Woman.” Now if you’ve had the pleasure of listening to this little gem, J. Hud breaks it down to Fanny, in no uncertain terms, and I quote….”In this situation, you DON’T want no confrontation with me boo!!…. I don’t know what he’s tellin you, but it seems to me that YOU’RE confused.”……..They then proceed to go back and forth telling each other that he’s MY man. I just need to know, when did arguing with the other woman become the way to handle a situation where the only common denominator in that love triangle is HIM??? HE is the only reason your paths crossed, the only reason you have for conversation OR confrontation. HE is the one lying and cheating on the two of you…. Not the other way around!!! We done fell for the okie doke ya’ll!!!!!

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m all for a woman standing by her man…..if he’s a GOOD MAN…but this shit right here!!!….this shit right here nigga…this is just plain old ridiculous!! Tom-foolery at its finest. My last article “Something Borrowed” touched on the benefits of man sharing but this explores the OTHER side of this love triangle. This is all the arguing, fussin, and fighting that we as women do when we have a man who claims to be in a relationship with us but still acts like he is still VERY single. Instead of being mad with the person we are in the relationship with, the one who actually OWES us trust, honesty, respect and loyalty, we want to cut up and act a fool with a person who owes us NONE of that. The person who’s probably being drip fed the same flavor of Kool-Aid that you are. I’ll tell you why, if we were to have that conversation with our man then we would have to admit that we’ve been treated badly by the person who is supposed to love, honor, and cherish us the most. Then we would be forced to see him as the bad guy, the source of our pain and ACTUALLY DEAL WITH IT…..but why do that when there is someone else that we could blame for the problems in our relationship?

if we were to have that conversation with our man then we would have to admit that we’ve been treated badly by the person who is supposed to love, honor, and cherish us the most

If the people who are actually IN the relationship with each other don’t respect the invisible boundaries, how in the world do they expect other people on the OUTSIDE of the relationship to respect them? I guess the better question is DOES MONOGAMY EVEN EXISIT IN THIS DAY AND AGE? Is monogamy more of an Urban Legend… Kinda like Bigfoot…. You’ve heard tell of it, but neither you nor anyone you know of has ever actually SEEN it? How different would it be if we could just be honest with each other? If we could just admit that we want a relationship when we really do want one and when we’re NOT ready to dedicate our love and our lives to ONE person… just say that too?

When we were younger we all believed in Santa Claus and The Easter Bunny but as we got older we learned that those things were just make believe and only existed in the minds of innocent children who knew no better. At the end of the day, monogamy does not seem to be the reality, at least not for most…..it seems more like a fantasy spun by the powers that be at Disney, with Princes who rescue Princesses and then they all live happily ever after. Is it possible to change what is? Or do we all just accept that….. IT IS WHAT IT IS?

“Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Monogamy, and Other Fairytales”, out of 5 based on 1 ratings.



About the Author

singleblackf
A Single Black Female's perspective on love, life, and living with the black men who just don't understand what women want.




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