…Inside The Black Man's World


June 29, 2012

Do We Hate Our Women?

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Written by: sgaither
Tags: , , , ,
Love Loss

Being a social media addict, rarely does a day go by that I don’t observe a debate or conversation regarding the attitudes of Black men towards Black women. Usually some clown says something about skin preference, why they don’t date Black women or simply about what Black women do or don’t do. It happened the other day on my Twitter Timeline.

In my experience, this happens so often that you sort of become immune to it. I couldn’t even tell you specifically what this particular argument was about. But for some reason, the interaction wouldn’t leave my mind. It just so happened that a few minutes later I turned on Pandora and came across “Hip-Hop Hooray” by Naughty By Nature. As a kid of the 90s, I’ve heard the song countless times, but a part of the lyrics I’d never paid much attention to caught my attention.

“I love Black Women always/Ain’t disrespectin’ no way/Let’s start a family today…

Chewing on Treach’s words, I typed the lyric into my phone and posted it on Twitter followed by the hashtag- #LyricsYoullNeverHearAgain. Those eleven words got me wondering, where are the songs uplifting Black women these days?

“And since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman, I wonder why we take from our women? Why we rape our women? Do we hate our women? I think it’s time to kill for our women. Time to heal our women, be real to our women.”

The lyrics above were penned by the late Tupac Shakur in his hit “Keep Your Head Up”. His 1993 ode to women stands the test of time as one of the most unapologetic pro-women songs in a genre that is often noted for its misogynistic lyrics . Unfortunately, it is one of the few major hit records in hip-hop history that uplift women, particularly Black Women.

Now to be fair, 2Pac also had his share of less favorable female characters in this music (see All About U). But at least there seemed to be some type of attempt at balance. I know it’s unrealistic to expect all hip-hop songs to be void of derogatory terms and messages directed to and at women, but it would be nice to see more empowering and positive lyrics directed at women of color.

About the Author

Award-winning college journalist. Serial Blogger. Old School R&B fanatic. Stonecold Gentleman.




  1. Marc

    Why is it unrealistic to have the theme of disrespecting our women taken out of music? Some of these themes like this and weed and 40 oz anthems can drop from the face of the earth forever. I sure wouldn’t miss them. IF WE STAND TOGETHER AND STOP BUYING THIS TRASH THE RECORD COMPANIES/ “ARTISTS” WON’T KEEP PUTTING THAT STUFF OUT. Pressure them by hitting them in the pocket. Show the world we know how to respect ourselves and we will hopefully receive the respect we deserve. No, ” but it has a hot beat” is not a reasonable excuse for buying a piece of music that is derogatory to our women

  2. Joseph

    I am going to be 100% honest here.. I feel like the media brainwashes black men into thinking that a black woman’s beauty isnt good enough. Ironically, You have white girls like Kim Kardashian, coco and the list goes on and on trying to be more like a black woman and they are somehow better than our women. Thats why are women are so confused…they are walking around with plastic weaves, color contacts, skin bleaching and worse trying to keep up with european beauty.I love my black women curvy, brown, kinky hair, and beautiful just like they were born. I feel that it is the black man’s job to reconfirm to our women that we love them too..even more. It doesnt mean that we wont consider dating outside of our race if we find a nice woman but a black woman is what we seek. Black men please tell your women that you love them and that they too are beautiful and teach your boys that black is beautiful so they dont fall victim to media. Lastly, stop allowing black men to disrespect our woman. All of these stereotypes that black men create about black women in order to justify his reason for dating a white women need to stop..Real men protect their women.

  3. Cornelius

    I have a white girlfriend and I’m black. But I did not choose her because she was white, I chose her because she’s amazing. I love women, period. I don’t care if you white, black hispanic, asian or other. You can be tall, short, skinny, big, light skinned, dark skinned, it doesn’t matter. Women are beautiful and I hate when men disrespect women. I especially hate when we claim that light skinned women are better than darker women, because that in no way is true and disturbing. I agree with Joseph, we have been brainwashed. Not only in the hip-hop communities, but in the movies also. Its the brown skinned women that get the main roles. I fear there is no way to help these young men understand that now.

    • Emma

      I am a mixed raced women and am finding that black men are seeking white women these days which is fine but they are disrespecting black women by stating they are not good enough and making white female feel empowerment over black women. A lot of black men really need to grow up and realise what they are promoting. A lot of the hip hop songs these days go on about how they have their white women, well so what is the deal u need to sing about it. Black men need to love their own sisters more and be proud, if a black women is not your desire then fine but there is no need to dis a black sister for being who she is.

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