…Inside The Black Man's World


June 6, 2011

SBF – Buy U A Drank?

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Written by: singleblackf
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Single Black Female













Buy U A Drank?

I’m not one to go clubbing too often, but this Saturday night I decided to put on my best freak’em dress along with my sexiest pair of pumps, and I hit the town with my girls. Before leaving the house I ensured that my makeup was on point, not one hair was out-of-place, and I left the house looking and smelling like one dollar shy of a million bucks. After fighting through the bullsh*t of bouncers holding up the line-up I entered the club with my spirits on high because maybe tonight was the night that I’d meet a nice guy in the club. Enter the Fab Five. My girls and I are five financially stable, sensually sexy sistahs in stilettos, with a mean walk to match. I’d like to think that when my girls and I enter a room we command attention; whether it is good or bad…we get it in!

Each of us part ways and I head to the bar for a drink.

Of course, the bar is lined up with men each of which are just standing there sipping on something waiting to pounce on any woman who catches their eye as a passerby. While waiting patiently for the bartender, this guy approaches me and sparks up conversation. He offers me a drink and I accept since I was feeling thirsty after all. He politely compliments me on my outfit, asks me where I’m from, and how he and I can get familiar after the club. The conversation continues for a bit longer and then I tell him thank you for the drink and I proceed to walk towards the dance floor but he grabs my arm and asks me “…where do you think you’re going?” I tell him I’m going to the dance floor with my girls and he says “so you’re just going to leave like that? WTF! Give me back my $10”. I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind, but you know what I did… I gave that man back his $10 and an extra $1 as a tip. Boy Please!!

Why do men feel that when they buy a woman a drink they own them? The way I see it is if you offer a woman a drink you shouldn’t be offering it expecting for the woman to be yours for the night like this is some type of male dowry.

“I’ma buy you a drank / I’ma take you home with me” ~ T-Pain


Twitter: @Singleblkf

Missed my last post: The “Single” Father


About the Author

A Single Black Female's perspective on love, life, and living with the black men who just don't understand what women want.




  1. Lando

    You see, he did it all wrong…He should have kept buying you drinks until you roll your ankle in those “Jimmy Choo’s”. After he helps you to your car, he would come off as Clark Kent to you and your back up singers…maybe even to the point where you gals start fighting over him in a pool of jello. It could happen.
    But really, buying someone a drink at a club is like going to a casino and playing slots – cherry…cherry…bell…you lose.

  2. Pointblank

    See the thing is women will take advantage of you time and time again. The offering of a drink is not cause I really want to buy you a drink, it is for conversation and hopefully get them digits or atleast a BBM pin. But if I buy a girl a drink and she just says thank you and walks off!! I think I would be pretty upset. Women act like it is not a big deal but they know what they are doing. They know that man wants to get in there. So my thing is if a lady is not feeling the dude, don’t take that drink offer. The problem is women do and that is where the problem starts.

  3. water

    The lesson is being missed here. The deep underlying moral is, don’t buy drinks for women!

    A free “Hello. How are you?” does the same thing. Wait, you probably have to say that before offering a drink.

    So, do all and say all of the same things, but leave out the buying drinks part. That way you’ve saved yourself ten dollars. A rejection alone is a lot better than a rejection and a lost jerk chicken dinner. Five un-bought drinks equals almost 50 dollars. So you’ve just basically made money!

    In closing, when was the last time your mack here said. “You know my secret? Drinks! I buy them drinks and the panty soup just flows!” Never.

  4. noirmoustache

    I remember a time when I was feeling nice in a club. I saw this fine young chick and had no game. I said you put yourself together very well. Let me buy you a drink. I was thinking at this point that we would have a great conversation and the we would hook up later. She order red wine then just left. I felt like such a punk.

    So to an extent I can’t blame dudes for trying to hancuff hoes at the club. They want to get their money’s worth. The thing is if a girl is not feeling the dude she should not except the damn drink!

    • imadime

      you need to be asking yourself why you thought that woman was going home with you for a $10 drink, and why you would even want someone who was willing to go home with you for a $10 drink. if that’s the game you’re playing you might be better of fishing in different waters…like strip clubs or with prostitutes.

  5. Strongarm


  6. MizAvid

    I’m with SBF on this one, if you don’t have it, don’t offer. He had no right.

    I understand a man feeling used, but that’s because he went about it all wrong. If you offer to buy a lady a drink you should do so with no expectations. Or wait until the right moment, like maybe you have been shooting each other looks, had a dance together and/or are going to have a seat and talk for a minute.

    If I was that man, I would have simply bought you the drink, showed my interest, and said, “Hopefully we’ll meet again”, then just enjoyed the view as you walked away 
    He may have stood a chance, clearly if you thought he was awful you would have never accepted the drink?

    • Hopefully meet again – WTF? Now my wallet is 10 bucks lighter, and all I have to show for it is a “Hopefully”? Nah B!

  7. MizAvid

    Even if I was “feeling dude” I wouldn’t be hanging out with him for too long. I came with my girls, and I’m not going to get to know you in a club :S
    I’d rather him have the class to have a drink, make an interdiction, and maybe later in the night it turns into more, a dance, or number, or maybe not.
    I guess some woman or girls have ruined that concept, I can admit there was a time (when I was younger) I would take advantage 

  8. water

    I think all of these comments prove what a bad idea drink buying is. It’s for chumps guys.

    I’ll even take it a step further by saying buying free things for people you don’t know will even put them into defensive mode. When a stranger gives you free stuff, you assume there’s something evil going on.

    Although a stranger offering candy sounds delicious, you’ve been taught that there’s gonna be some mollesting going on real soon.

  9. Lando

    You know what works better than buying a girl a drink? Telling her it’s your birthday. Telling her you don’t do this club “ish” a lot and your friends took you out for a good time. Tell her you don’t plan on getting too sideways because you have a puppy at home named “sprocket” you have to walk in the morning.
    Not only will she buy you a drink, you’ll get a birthday grind, and in essence isn’t that what you really came to the club for?

  10. Lando

    When I was in the clubs my focus was on the girl amongst the shield of her friends. We all know the shield. They would dance around each other much like how zebras prance around their young in attempt to confuse the predator scanning in the reveling blades of dancing grass.

    Yo, your song is playing hommie, the song you practice your dance moves to. Pounce on that and pray you don’t get stampeded by those c@ck blocking zebras. You got her attention and she hasn’t mouthed the words, “go phuk yourself”, so you’re still good.
    Go ahead man green light. You ease in…then…What sound does an angry, jealous possibly lesbian c@ck blocking zebra makes? Doesn’t matter, she already pointed out to her friends your Casio watch and that your lips are kinda dry. Redeem yourself player! “Hold up, Aren’t you the outside line backer for the Steelers?” Wrong. She the sister of the girl you just tried to chop. Now you’re the a$$hole and now the whole herd is going to the washroom never to be seen again.
    Smirnoff Ice could never do that! Lions don’t dangle sh!t in front of their prey, they just get. Can I buy you a drink, there’s more where that came from…pls. Crash and burn fellas. Chicks dig that. After you get the first one out the way, it’s a walk in the park.

  11. [...] Missed my last article: Buy U A Drank [...]

  12. Sam

    Very true – strangers buying you things is kind of weird! I’m a girl and I won’t really accept any drinks from guys until we’ve been talking for a while. But still that doesn’t then mean that after talking for a bit and accepting a drink that I actually like you enough to give you my number or anything. Anyone can buy anyone a drink – I mean, should I give my number to everyone just because they bought me a drink after a little bit of a chat? Come on! If you really wanted that type of blatant transaction then surely there are places to go for that.

    • BkaysGold

      So would u grade a guy down if during your lil chat with him, he buys himself a drink without offering to get you anything?

  13. imadime

    i think you dudes need to get a little perspective. what you’re expecting in return for a $10 drink is waaaayyy out of proportion with reality. you’ve been watching too many movies.
    and are you seriously sweating that $10?? c’mon son.
    maybe you should be considering what you did or didn’t do or say that kept the woman from sticking around after the drink. buying a drink because you have no game doesn’t make you a winner. if she’s not feeling you, no woman is going to stick around and talk to you all night because you spent $10.

    • DINO

      I totally agree with imadime! It appears that she does not lack confidence in who she is and what is she wants in man. Her monnicker (imadime) serve to remind her that she needs reassuring on the regular! Fact of the matter is what does expect at the bar, besides drink and conversation, a proposal! Ten dolla a hole lotta money! My perspective is that it’s because on this self indulgance ,she signals one to say what the heck she not’s interested…

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