…Inside The Black Man's World


April 5, 2012

Interracial Relationships – Black/White Gray Area?

Black & White








BM of the world… everyone has an opinion about interracial relationships; are they good or are they bad? Who can really tell you, who has the right to judge? Yo Momma? She might not be happy about it, but does that mean you shouldn’t be happy? Other Black Women? Is there something wrong with it? Is that why you give Tha Kid evil eyes when he’s out with his white woman (Leave My “Bunnies” Alone)

“Until as recently as 1967, it was still illegal in a number of US States to marry someone of another race”

. Does the taboo of the “jungle fever” still exist today? And why do some people feel so strongly about it?  Dare we delve beyond dating and into the dynamic of the biracial family; the apparent crises that these children face, burdened with the negative connotations and inability to identify with one race or the other. This is all real, however is it all really happening to you? WBMW wants you to tell it!. Where are you at on this?


About the Author

Uncle Suave
Real talk. Like it or not with one grain of sugar a-top. Diplomacy through my stubborn ways... Truly, Your Favourite Uncle.





  1. Clark Kent

    I remember being a kid and whenever I saw interracial relationships in media, or in person, I was happy that people were being more tolerant and were learning how to live together. Its funny, that as I got older, through highschool and university this view had changed to one of “stick to your own”. And the pressure came mostly from disapproving, and lonely black women. Statemenst like you can’t help who you fall in love with, and as long as he or she treats you right didn’t carry as much weight anymore, you just didn’t want to be that guy holding hands with Snow White at the party.
    Being in an interracial relationship now my first, The biggest diference between the two(a black woman vs white woman) is plenty of wild’n dirty, guilt free, top-notch unselfish sex!
    Other than that, not much difference;)

    • Kslice247

      I will have to agree with that. Wild and dirty, guilt free, dirty unselfish sex is what I get from white women. I will disagree as far as not much difference. I notice less nagging about small things with the white girl.

      • Legacy

        Wild, dirty, guilt free, unselfish sex is something you can only get from a white woman? Give me a break! Did you ever think the reason she wasn’t willing to take it to that level with you was because you wouldn’t go there with her? Look in the mirror before you put it out there and make it seem as though all black women are prudes. If you expect your woman to take it there with you, then do that with her. I have absolutely no issues with interracial dating. I myself have dated outside my race. I didn’t do it because I thought he was going to give me what I couldn’t get from the last. I did it because we clicked. Race aside! Grow UP!

  2. SBF

    As a Single Black Female in the city of Toronto, the ratio of black men vs black woman is at the very least 3 to 1. I just dont see a reason why a black man wouldn’t first take all steps to meet, greet, mix, and mingle with the more than ample amount of black woman in our city. Why not first seek within your own before drifting elsewhere?? For some reason the Heather’s and Becky’s seem to be “winning” though. *shrugs shoulders* So the ratio keeps growing. When is it our turn to win?

  3. Ebonysmoothe

    White woman don’t nag and are more submissive. They let u be the king that u are. Black women wanna fight and prove that they are your equal. Give me a white or Asian woman over a sister any day.

  4. Lovingit

    Not only do they treat you like a king they give you the space you require. White women allow a man to be a man and give true meaning to the ultimate women. I won’t go back to the ebony chicks…if I move from white it will be to the Spanish or Aisan tip.

    Want a chick to call me papi ;)

    • Mixed Beauty

      I’m sorry but that just shows that your not “MAN” enough for a real strong woman so you prefer something easy. Rather then staying by a real Nubian queen, mind you who COULD treat you like a KING and then some you decide to lower your standards for someone easy and who’ll “give you space”. That’s how you get cheated on.

      A real woman is staying by her man, A real woman is taking care of her man, A real woman is also independent and can handle her own taking no shit from any one, head high and standing tall. Yes black woman may come of as STRONG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN but if that makes you feel LESS of a man and you want someone to WALK ALL OVER then you DO NOT deserve a REAL STRONG BLACK WOMAN! And you know what? That’s GREAT because atleast we do not have to waste our time on someone like you!

      • CEO


  5. SBF

    Funny… it seems as though the S/B/Man’s priorities are out of wack. Based on the responses all that I can conclude is that y’all want a woman who will bark like a dog similar to that princess in “Coming to America”, who will let you penetrate every hole in her body, slob on a knob like a corn on the cob, and then roll over and fix you a sandwich. You might as well be taking crib notes from Bill Bellamy’s “How to be a Player”.

    Maybe its our generation of black men that are the problem. My father and fathers father seemed to be content with coming home to a strong self sufficient black woman; the kinda woman who ran her household behind closed doors, but fixed you a plate at a family bbq. I agree that a majority of black woman aren’t as experimental sexually, but if thats what we gotta do to keep the black man of this generation i’m pretty sure that with some practice we’ll master that too.

    This is the personal opinion of a single black female (SBF) who cooks a mean steak, works hard day in day out, and throws it down. I dunno what more y’all want…

    • Captinblacko

      Look all BM are saying is, enough with the nagging, and fussin, to all the SBF, your game needs to step up, cause others are creeping around the corner willing to do what ever it takes to keep the BM…so if ya’ll need to go to some seminars, read more books, or even stay quiet once in a while…..or even rent a few porno books, do so….

      • Mixed Beauty

        Ok. Funny. So WHY does it have to be the WOMAN to step our game up?

        All woman (black, asian, hispanic, white, ect) NAG, woman NAG for a reason we don’t do it because we want to NAG if something bothers us we’ll let you know and will continue to let you know until you fix it!

        In order for us to STFU (Shut The Fuck Up) do what WE TELL YOU TO DO then everything will be alright!

        But again if you seek someone to walk all over and have her own the grown on a leash like a dog then yes stay with those “others that are creeping around the corner”. Because as a strong BLACK woman we also need a STRONG MAN by our side to treat each other equally with real love not no B/S

        Just Saying..

    • Friendly

      I think its because alot of women wont cook for their man anymore, or clean and they see that, and top of that they are nagging and always on their case. I think a man deserves to be treated like a king and I want to be treated as a princess, we should please them, why are we still looking at race!?!?!?!?!? i dont think that matters!! My dad is black and my mom white and I love them both! Men want to be respected and they want a women who will be strong as well submit, a black bunny doesnt care if its mate is black or white or brown or pink for all i care…lol

  6. Kslice247

    I like Coming to America….

  7. ebony_smoothe

    @ sbf we want y’all to play your position. Chill with all that stong black woman ish. Thats so played out. My mom’s generation new what it took to keep the home happy. Today’s bw has no clue. That’s why your a sbf

  8. Lovingit

    LMFAO – That’s why your a sbf!
    A number of women that are single lie and pretend they can get man, but are really this way cuz they can’t get a man PERIOD.

  9. Thor

    I enjoy dating outside my race! Stuck up Black Female you need a life…why are so many black women upset at fact that brothers are looking in other places?

  10. K9

    I love my Nubian sisters. I don’t like dating outside my race. Black women know how to treat their Nubian king.

  11. K9

    Black women are the best

  12. Lando

    I’m with K9 “yea black women…” My wife isn’t lurking over my shoulder while I type this… but I’m sure some mid-east women can g’won. So oppressed and obedient. They can’t even drive in some countries. I’m not saying they can’t drive – it’s against the law man. So you can go wherever you want to go without any worry that she’s gonna roll up on you. Her friend won’t catch you b/c she can’t drive either!
    And that’s why Iraq doesn’t want America interfering with their affairs. They a good thing going.

  13. Lando

    But seriously….it’s against the law for them to drive!
    They sit in the back seat when you’re driving so the radio is all yours. You can put your snacks in the passenger seat beside you. I’ve never seen one out of line. So obedient.
    Asian women are a close second….they shop too damn much and they don’t seem to out grow Hello Kitty. And unfortunately, they can drive – not well though. They may not blow up your spot, but they will mash up your whip trying…

  14. 4eyesG

    You just rolled all the sterotypes all up into one post. Great Lando.

  15. water

    Maybe Lando has a point. Maybe if ther are jobs in Iraq, we should all take our girl’s there. Get you an oil job and drive lamborghini jeeps in the desert. Then you can be like, “HEY, I’m not the bad guy here ok? Oh, while you’re home all day today, can you make me a sandwich?” I’d imagine sandwiches would taste good in the desert.

  16. El_Duce

    This is an interesting topic, but frankly, it seems that it really just comes down to preference; and honest, respectful preference should never come with any judgmental backlash from anybody. Period. You like what you like.
    When it comes to black women and black men, however, it gets a bit more complicated.
    In my opinion they are the same in so many ways, but they are also quite polarized. Both have experienced oppression and racial hardship for centuries, but it should not be mistaken for the same type of hardship that would thus spawn the same type of effect on their psyches.
    For instance, I feel that the average black women’s reluctance to be sexually liberated comes from a pre and post-colonial conditioning that disallowed them to ultimately be free with their bodies. Think about it, most black mothers are very conservative about teaching their daughters about sex and allowing them to be safe yet experiential with their bodies. White women in general have never experienced racism and colonial pressure, they are typically born into a life of racial liberty, free from social judgment and familial persecution for exploring their sexuality. This may explain why they are so sexually active in their youth, more so than black women from my experience, but still disinclined to have babies during their adolescence as so many black women do. Perhaps.
    I personally enjoy dating black and mixed women, but only when I feel that they are the type that have pushed past their conditioning, and what it means to be black – without losing what it means to be black, if that makes any sense.
    Black men on the other hand (not forgiving the blatant Uncle Tom’s and disrespectful, self-proclaimed pimps) are just like any other men in the sexual sphere: they want to explore and not live in a relationship where they may feel intimidated to get kinky in the bedroom.
    I’m not defended black men here, being one myself, I’m just saying that if more and more black men are dating outside of their race, and it is being viewed as a problem by black women, then it may be time for black women to embrace the more liberal side of their sexuality and culture and stop making it about being anti ‘white girl.’ It’s that same mentality that has got black men seeking love elsewhere, I reckon.

    • UltimateBlack

      WOW – that’s some real talk! This is response needs to be shared.

    • Friendly

      I agree fully what did we fight for freedom for if this is what we are going to do with it!?

  17. MizAvid

    I’m sure it takes more then a woman “who will let you penetrate every hole in her body, slob on a knob like a corn on the cob, and then roll over and fix you a sandwich” to keep a man. (However that doesn’t seem unreasonable lol). And I don’t think that having your man wear the pants in your household means you “bark like a dog, when told to”. I think that is one of the very reasons woman are attracted to BM in the 1st place, they want to be with a man that knows how to take control (not a controlling man, there’s a difference), and makes her feel safe and taken care of.

    I think the single women today are single for a few good reasons (not because it’s impossible to find a great guy).
    1st off they don’t know what the hell they want, if they had a good man in their life they didn’t want him till someone else took him (a taking man is takin),
    2nd woman today are selfish & kinda lazy, relationships are a give & take not just take.
    3rd in the real world, in 2011 don’t expect to live outside of reality with all this wine & dine all the time sh*t :(
    We work, take care of our children, take care of our man’s needs, our home, stay hot, don’t matter what color you are! If you can find a man that shares these quality’s he’s worth rolling over to make a sandwich for :)

    • You know what you’re talking about – whoever you are :-)

  18. Boxim

    I’m a Black Man adverse to interracial relationships, I think my biggest concern is for kids growing up in multicultural families, mainly half black and half white. I strongly feel that some of these children have a difficult time developing self identity as it becomes difficult to identify with a particular ethnicity, especially when the relationship does not work out and the child is growing up in a single parent household consisting of a white mother. The problem in my opinion is that someone that is perceived as a minority in the eyes of society does not see themself the same way, further they have a harder time assimilating with their minority group. In short Identity Crisis. FYI a relationship needs to consider a little more than how many positions your girl is willing to try in the bedroom.

    To all the men out there defending interracial relationships by saying Black Women nag to much, i don’t disagree with you, but something also needs to be said for men who’s desire is to attain a partner as complacent as the white women described in these post…what’s next, will we start courting blow up dolls because they don’t talk back? something also needs to be said for the men who want to be treated like kings, but make no mention of treating their women like queens, why are you so entitled? what have you done? the struggle for equality in a post slavery society is intrinsic to black culture, from being pulled over too often to not getting the promotion you deserve at work, so before you knock the Black Woman for wanting to be treated as an equal, maybe try to understand it, maybe embrace it. Because like it or not her plight is your plight, and always remember it was a black woman that brought you in and raised you in this world.

    excellent BBQ yesterday.

    • Legacy


    • I’m speechless – your point are very valid! I honestly have no further comment to this… Gentlemen please take heed!

      Thanks – it was a good time for all!

    • girlie

      Here here!
      We’ve all heard the stat that says that there are much more higher educated black women than balck men, so you have to attribute that to the relationship BM and BW have with each other. You complain that we’re trying to wear the pants in the relationship, but have you ever considered that we may actually know what we’re talking about?? Or even (dare i say) that we know more than you ??!! So while your busy getting defensive because we’re trying to tell you whats up, consider who’s issue this really is.

      • CEO

        I think the author of this post needs to reply to your comment!!!

  19. water

    I agree that there are often identity problems with a mixed race child growing up with a single parent. I’ll even take it further and say that most Black people growing up in white or predominantly non-black societies have identity issues as well.

    Boxim raised a good point about being in a post slavery society. Whether we want to admit it or not, the customs of slavery are what set a lot of the practices we still see today. Getting pulled over, or getting denied work, financing, etc. Although these things don’t define us, they affect our lives. I think one of the reasons some black men tire of black women is a holdover from slavery as well.

    Have any of you read the Willy Lynch letter, or any novels or biographies written about American slavery? Well If you have, you’ve learned that during slavery, the slave masters would denigrate the men in front of the women and children to weaken the family structure and remove the idea of the man being a heroic leader of the family. The practice was used to turn the women against the men and curtail families from joining together and going against the white masters.

    This has continued after slavery as well. We see this with police profiling black males. We also see this family separation for things like welfare. A single mother can have her subsidy taken away if a man is in the house helping out.

    So what does all of this have to do with dating practices? I’ll point out 2 ways. First of all, Canadian and American black men live in predominantly white societies where we are exposed to media images of white being good and beautiful and black being evil and ugly. This affects out self images and has an influence of who we are attracted to. If we jump this hurdle and still want to date black women, we also have to deal with the idea that black women have been, and still are taught to see black men as something less than men, even if we’re not conscious of it. It is often reflected in how black women treat black men in our relationships. This disrespect for each other and ourselves doesn’t have to remain, but the idea shouldn’t just be ignored.

    I’d say these are some of the reasons why some black men date women of other races. I’ve been to other predominantly black countries, but I don’t see the same thing. Which could mean what we face in North America is a holdover from American slavery.

    In Toronto we often have an advantage on this because many of us are recent immigrants, so these ideas are not as deeply engrained. Watching TV definitely re-enforces this “training” though.

    So, for those who want to stick to black women, be patient, understand the effects of history, and if all else fails, there are tons of black women in other countries.

  20. Lovin White

    Im going to keep this short and straight to the point! I’m a black, actually a strong black male who only dates WHITE women. I’ve dated within my race a number of times, and everytime my relationship would go south because my Nubian Pricness would feel the need to remind how to treat a BW! Now I’m not going to go into grave detail but I know how to handle mine (cooking, cleaning, gifts, vacations…etc). Everything is there, but it’s never enough for a BW. BW want 99 cents of every dollar you make to be spent on them…and if it’s not there is hell to pay! I’m 30 years old so yes I’m speaking about the new age BW. my moms is nothing like this, she knows how to hold a BM down.

    So after my experiences I’m on to the next, hey I’m not saying that WW are my key to happiness – I’m just saying they are my key for right now, and if they start acting the same way then it’s on to Asian’s…

  21. Darrylmac

    @water. That was the deepest thing I have seen on a website. I have read the Willy Lynch letter. It is pretty upsetting. But it is the truth…

  22. Boxim

    note to self, buy Willy Lynch letter

  23. @ Water & Boxim Standing ovation! I hope there are some black women reading these testaments to what some of us BlackMen feel; for or against interracial relationships alike.

  24. Feverish

    The thing is, is that most black men don’t ever meet the ideal dating standards of black women.
    On the lower class levels, a black man has to act like a “thug” to get them, but go up in class, you’ll see that they want a man w/ more assets, looks, and a huge swag. On top of that, they have their heads stuck in their asses w/ bad attittudes attached.

    White women, on the other hand, usually have more realistic dating preferences and are are much more docile and stoic.
    The majority of black women just dont respect black men. Maybe they have good reasons to feel that way. I’m just speaking in general terms from what I have experienced, but i prefer respect from a woman whatever her race happens to be.

  25. Nike

    Boxim sums it up perfectly….esp this part right here..

    “To all the men out there defending interracial relationships by saying Black Women nag to much, i don’t disagree with you, but something also needs to be said for men who’s desire is to attain a partner as complacent as the white women described in these post…what’s next, will we start courting blow up dolls because they don’t talk back? something also needs to be said for the men who want to be treated like kings, but make no mention of treating their women like queens, why are you so entitled? what have you done?”
    the men them want but don’t want to give…or at least give so much less..any relationship is based on give and take….equally…

  26. Denise

    From one sista to the next. When you realize that the black man is your enemy you will be much better off. The comment on this thread proves me right.
    I cannot wrap my head around why in 2011 black women are wasting their breath where black men are concerned? Get yourself in shape; get yourself mentally, financially right. When you do, find yourself a white man. Did you know the white man likes you with your natural hair? Ditch the wigs and the weaves. Do not think for one second that white men do not want to approach you. What stops them are the lies that black men have said about you.
    White men have stepped up their game and from continuous experience you will see how much better you are treated. You are actually being treated like a QUEEN. Why would you not want that? Why would you want to be with the enemy (black men)? They are extremely jealous of black women and are the first to tell you how no one wants you. Black men cannot stand it when a black woman has confidence, high self esteem and has her shit together. It PISSES them off. When was the last time you met a black man who did not at least have a minimum of 10 kids, drug charges, and weapon charges, served jail time in their youth? A majority of them have not even finished school and cannot read pass the grade 4 level and well we know what their credit score is probably like? Notice how black men are very comfortable asking for money. No white man has ever asked me for money. Instead they are their to love you, care for you and not to be a financial burden to you. The white man is my KING because he treats me like his QUEEN.
    Black Women take heed to what I am saying. Leave Black Men alone. They are no good for the black women. Until you have had your pussy eaten by a white man you have not lived. Step out of your comfort zone and ditch these niggers and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!

  27. Sadat

    @Denise Looks like we have another case of the “angry black women.” Lets have a round of applause for her and her stank attitude. Glad to see that you settled for a white guy. Keep it real Denise, you tried many times to be with a Black King. Your ideal relationship was with a Black King, but for some reason you lacked what it took to keep a brother didn’t you. You just didn’t make the cut so you SETTLED for a white guy. We all know that a white guy was not your first choice. And of course he is easy to control and listens to you when you bark out your orders. Yes yes, black women love a man that they can control. What better way to control a man but to get with a white guy. I am sure he holds your purse too while you walk in the mall together. Denise, your not fooling anyone on this site your just fooling yourself. At the end of the day when he accidentally spits out the word nigga or calls you a crazy ni**a bitch, don’t say we didn’t say so. As much as you want to believe that he is all into your black skin his parents, friends, family are still trying to figure out why Tommy is with this ni**er. She is one of the nice black girls but why not get a nice blonde white girl that looks cute. Just give it a bit of time till you see his true colors. And don’t worry, us black men are very forgiving and will accept you back cause at the end of the day we love o

  28. wbmwstaging

    WOW@Denise – that’s some serious talk! You bring up some interesting points that many may argue and also agree with. Let’s wait and see.

  29. HoneyPuss

    Interesting that so many of you BM, who were born of a BW, have Black sisters, aunties, & grandmas are so QUICK to disgrace & degrade your own. I liken your comments to modern day lynching. Look within “BROTHERS”. You’re pointing the finger @ sisters but don’t realize there are 4 fingers pointing back at you. Why is it that when there is a comparison to WW its always about sex & nagging??? Have you ever considered this is a WWs way of controlling YOU???

    Having a partner is about havimg someone who challenges you to do better? Pushes you to excel….not about complacency. We BW push the envelope because often we see in you what you can’t see in yourself. Do you believe a WW can push you to rise to that challenge? Her lack of discussion (or nagging as you put it) is a form of oppression because the WW knows this will drive you to do NOTHING & be NOTHING. Whereas a BW will challenge you & you will in turn push to prove you can do it. Which situation leaves you on top???

    In addition, have you BM ever considered your role in creating this “angry BW who nags & doesn’t give it up”? A BW isn’t angry for no reason. Consider the years of trials & tribulation BW have faced that were BM induced. When you lie to a BW, she no longer trusts you. When you cheat on a BW, she may stay but you won’t be getting that good “cat” anymore. BW have children for BM that BM believe they don’t have to take care of. These things can make anyone angry.

    Think about the role your actions play!

  30. HoneyPuss

    @Feverish – is that what you really want? A docile & stoic WW. I don’t think any dude would or should want a “docile and stoic” woman no matter the ethnicity.

    1. readily trained; submissive

    1. of or about the school of philosophy founded by Zeno, who taught that people should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity

  31. Boxim

    Question to Denise… What are you going to say when you meet a black man with more credentials, more assets, more education and a better credit score than your white counter-part? what will you say then? and really eating pussy? Really! I just think it’s funny how you singled out that single sexual act. I don’t know about anyone else but if I had a choice I think I would rather be better at sex, oh and guess what most women white and black seem to think black men are better in bed. I remember when I was in college I met this white girl that had a strict preference for black men, I asked her why, she said they were better in bed. Being naive I said to her isn’t sex, sex what would make it so different? and her response was “have you ever seen the way white men dance compared to black men, it’s the same in bed”. I’m really sorry that this is what you have to resort to denise. I guess for folk with no game it’s either lousy in bed white men who are probably two times your elder and married (really hate to stereotype but denise took it there), or Fat White chicks that want their kids to have curly hair.

  32. Boxim

    lol the next time ya’ll are at the club and see white dude’s grinding think about what that white girl said and i guarantee you’ll get a good laugh.
    Oh and step your game up Denise, don’t be a sore loser go find yourself good black man if that’s what you truly desire

  33. WW

    Okay so after reading many of the posts, I think it’s time that a WW has a chance to respond.  Speaking from a WW who is committed to her BM, I am disgusted at the thought that many of you are insinuating that BM only go for WW for their sexual liberation and lack of nagging.  I can see how this may be the driving force behind “hooking up” with a WW for the short term, but these things do not form the foundation for a long standing marriage!  There are many interracial relationships that last centuries and till death do they part, and to those couples I refuse to believe it’s because the WW in the relationship at one time allowed her BM to be more experimental in bed.  I do believe however that some of you are correct in saying that a BM (typically) knows how to take control and be the man of the household, which for me is part (and only part) of the attraction to be with a BM.  However, there are many other factors such as their ability to be more spiritual, without being a devote church goer, and a certain maturity that I always felt was lacking with the WM.  But the topic of this conversation is not what attracts a WW to a BM, so I’ll get back to the point.  From what I can tell, it seems as though BW tend to be very abrasive, unapproachable and have too much attitute.  I think BM lack the patience and persistence required to breack through that with the BW to really allow the woman to feel special, which in turn creates that respect and bond with their BM.  To top it off BW hold grudges far longer than is healthy in any relationship, which in most cases I think is the beginning of the end!

  34. Annie

    I love black men! Love the personality, the strength, the vigor, the swagger, the connection we share when it comes to life. Whether it be going to church, the club, a bbq, or barber/beauty shop – we just understand each other. There’s nothing better than a black man that is handling his business. “Lawdy, lawdy”. NOTHING LIKE THAT.

    However, it’s sad that many of our black men put us in sweeping categories and make us black women out to be loud, controlling, angry, fat, manipulative, nagging, ugly, unladylike, etc… That is a shame and so off the mark. There are so many beautiful black women waiting for the right black man to come along and play his position and that is of a leader, lover, and friend, not task master or drill sergeant. It’s interesting that I’ve dated both white men and black men and while I adored the black men, from my own personal experience, those relationships were the most disappointing. It always seemed like monogomy, honesty, and sharing were not on the agenda for any of these black men. Now, because of my experiences with these black men, I could say that ALL black men are dogs, but I refuse to think that there are no good bruthas out there. I just wish that black men who date white women would give black women this same free pass. To have certain negative experiences with black women and then say that you’ll never date another black women again is wrong. Just plain wrong. I’d love to meet a strong black man that knows how to treat me. However, I understand that any man will work for me if he is treating me the right way. Black is beautiful, but honor, loyalty, and respect go further with me. If that manifests in a nicely wrapped package of a Latino, Asian, or White man….so be it. Love is love.

    • Lesson


      Every BW wants a STRONG BM, “not a task master or drill sergeant.” All women love to feel protected and it takes a strong man to make us feel that way. But strength is not just in “the essence of maleness” or an attitude. In order to project strength a man must be handling his business. Leading from the rear is an oxymoron. If a man has his life, attitude, character, intellect and motivations in order, even the most educated, sassy woman will follow him.
      Here is the difficulty: sorry to say, but it is hard to find a BM worthy of following. Not that there aren’t any out there (Michelle Obama got one didn’t she?) but that they are hard to find.

  35. Miss Avid

    I’ve been reading some of these post/comments, and it’s really sad to see all this hate. How can we have come so far an educated society and still have people generalizing and throwing whole races or genders into stereotypes this way?
    Also, I have “mixed” children and they are smart and beautiful and well rounded. They have been raised to know both parents in a loving and respectful relationship (most children don’t get that) and know the backgrounds of both sides.
    These issues are “parenting issues” not “interracial couples issues”.
    There is way, way too many mixed children/people in this country for these children to have any more identity issues then if you are a Canadian born either black, white, or otherwise.

    • CEO

      5 star comment – Mizavid!!!

  36. Miss Avid

    Well said Annie :)

  37. Trickydix


    Been there done that with most races, and it seems as if White women like me more then sistas, it seems as if I don’t carry the appeal that Black women desire, namely being a thug, wearing overpriced gear, spend my money recklessly and not catering to their every need. I tend to require my woman to work and have a plan; I want to be 1st in her life not 5th, as I always put my woman 1st.
    To address the black queen thing, as stated before that is so played, if you think about it a queen, does nothing and expects everything, walk on roses and kiss her feet that is what a queen expects and she is required to do nothing, is that what black women expect when they label themselves as queens? What man wants a wife that does nothing and expects everything?
    White, Asian, Spanish or just any other race outside of African American women, tend to understand the team concept. A woman can’t sit back and think that what she has between her legs will get her everything she wants and feels she deserves, make no sense.

  38. Tracy

    First off the white lady giving her opinion is hella sad. Dont generalize all black women and say we nag and have attitude because I know a few white women that just the same and are quick to call the cops and or take a brother to court, so please sit down with your sad and pathetic generalizations.

    To black men, if you are dating certain types of black women with undesirable traits maybe stop dating that type. When referring to type I mean chicken heads, party girls or whatever.
    When you change the type ( and I’m not referring to race) you change the outcome.

    I don’t put our black men on blast and say all of them ain’t shit just cos of the bums I have come in contact with cos I know better. There are good bm and there are bad black men .

    I wish the bm that are quick to throw black women under a bus would just admit that as a black man I am conditioned to find white is better and that’s what I went after , instead the stupid excuse of black women are naggers and etc.

    I’m done.

  39. I’m in my first interracial relationship and it has been the most wonderful experience. I have never been one to shy away from trying new things and the opportunity never came about until recently. Loving it!!


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