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January 28, 2013

Ni@@a Please. Bitch Please. Check Please!

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Written by: Uncle Suave
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Paying-the-Bill

Perplexed on this matter I am. Women say they want a ‘Real’ man, but they aren’t being real?? What gives?

The “Pump Fake“, as it was so audaciously coined, is where on a dinner date, the woman fakes reaching for the cheque, with no intention whatsoever on paying any of the bill

The “Pump Fake“, as it was so audaciously coined, is where on a dinner date, the woman fakes reaching for the cheque, with no intention whatsoever on paying any of the bill. That shit craay right? All y’all Gentlemen (and REAL women) reading this probably can’t believe it actually happens…. Or can you? They be out there! You know the type; Independent. Makes her own money. She WILL come out of pocket if she NEEDS to however.

This misleading and disingenuous move on an unsuspecting man; Is it a test??Why? What purpose does it serve in the grand scheme of starting a relationship with the man across the table? I should hope there was some sort of screening process that ensued before the date. A conversation at least, through which she gauged on some level this man’s demeanor, character, something! Apparently the fake is not performed with “ill intentions”…

I must be naive, or just too chivalrous to have even seen it coming (the latter, of course), because the women in the debate where I learned of this were surethat a woman has drawn the foul from me by pump faking on the cheque…. And more than once! Well I’m gonna have my guard up, and not jump from now on. ‘Flagrant Fouls’ will be delivered in response, but with tact, tastefully.

My homeboy said it best I think: “If you have to Pump Fake, you are definitely on the wrong date!”



About the Author

Uncle Suave
Real talk. Like it or not with one grain of sugar a-top. Diplomacy through my stubborn ways... Truly, Your Favourite Uncle.




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