…Inside The Black Man's World


July 4, 2012

SBF – Computer Love

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Written by: singleblackf
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SBF Submitted by: Leressa Joiner


In this fast paced, self-service society we live in, we want everything quick, fast and in a hurry- including our relationships. Social networks like Facebook, and MocoSpace, or dating sites like Okcupid and Blackpeoplemeet.com are the new hook up spots. Men and women no longer have to get dressed up and spend that cash on those first few dates to impress you. Today, you can be whoever you want to be from behind the safety of a keyboard and go from “Hi, how you doing”, to “I love you” and “let’s hook up at my place” in a matter of days versus back in the day when people actually met face to face and took the time to get to know each other.

Somewhere along the way sex became too easy and love became too hard, so folks stared changing up the game and opting for friends with benefits instead of relationships with commitments. Dinner and a movie got demoted to a Redbox flick from your couch with whatever Scooby snacks you had in your fridge. What the What???? Pardon me ladies but…..how did we let that happen??? I can already hear some of you making excuses… “but it’s a recession,”… “you don’t know his struggle,”….. “see, he’s got a checking and a savings account and the ways it’s set up…”(in my Kevin Hart voice). If you can’t even get a happy meal out the deal, why in the world would you play yourself and treat him to a “happy ending”? If the majority of the “time” you and your new boo spend together is on facebook instant messaging, poking each other, and sending subliminal messages through your status updates.. you boo… are losing!!!

…folks stared changing up the game and opting for friends with benefits instead of relationships with commitments

Some of you are spending way too much time trying to get your body right and not enough time trying to get your GAME tight!! Sexy is NOT a size but confidence on the other hand is KILLER!!! Now don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying don’t be all you can be in the looks department, I know guys are mainly interested in the physical. But there are a million average looking chicks out on dates and getting wifed up on a daily basis. Most of us got caught up by Beyonce and her catchy summer anthem from a few years ago “If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it” and you had your bitter best friend who aint had a man since food stamps came in books all up in your ear telling you how your man wasn’t ish. Fast forward a few years and you’re feeling a little thirsty, a little panicked and you’re passing out the “p” like it’s a New Year’s Eve party favor. NO BUENO!!!

there are a million average looking chicks out on dates and getting wifed up on a daily basis

Ladies, I’m not saying that you have to be on some Steve Harvey wait three months type of time. How long you hold out on giving up the goods is up to you, but I am saying know your worth and act accordingly. Start how you want to finish #InThatOrder. If all you want out of the deal is a combo meal and a few good inches, then this article is not for you. If yo’re looking for love and a real commitment please know that “Computer Love” was just a song and it is NOT how you start or carry out a relationship.


About the Author

A Single Black Female's perspective on love, life, and living with the black men who just don't understand what women want.



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