…Inside The Black Man's World


May 1, 2012

Make ‘Em Happy: Stop That, Start This!

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Written by: avery_bianca
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Black Couple

One of the most important things in a relationship is communication. STOP!
Think about all your relationships that went bad. A lot of it had to do with communication. Somewhere in the relationship you stopped the communication lines.
I’m not saying you stopped texting, tweeting, calling, fcuking or visiting each other. Some people do that & their relationship is still missing meaningful communication.
That’s when you have to STOP & evaluate what you are doing wrong.
Tell each other what you like & what you don’t like. What happened at work? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What upsets you?
You have to be open with the person you are with. You have to stay involved with each other.
Go to the movies, dinner, bowling, walk at the park, travel,
get a room (even if you stay together), play cards, etc. START whatever it is that the two of you can do together to fully engage in one another.

If you must text say something freaky. Like: “when you get here we might not even make it to the bed”

This one is so important, and it is probably the most difficult one for people. You have to START being honest with the person you are with. People are sometimes afraid that being too honest can make a relationship go sour. It can, but at least the person can walk away saying he/she hurt my feelings but at least they were HONEST.
Most woman say they want the truth but can they handle the truth? Can Men? I say STOP asking your mate a question that you don’t want to hear his or her honest answer to.
Honesty will get you far in life, if you preach and practice it wholeheartedly, period.

START being playful, joke a little, and call each other names like peanut head, big head, or use endearing names to address each other. Don’t be afraid to tell one another when their joke was corny.
Just do and say things to each other that will bring your personalities out more. STOP holding out on each other and always being so cordial with your mate.
You will be amazed how much fun being silly with each other can be.

what you won’t do, someone else will. So make sure the person doing for your partner is YOU!

START giving each other alone time. Don’t think that every hour or every day off you gotta be with each other. STOP thinking because you are both in the house that you have to be right under each other. Go watch TV in the living room while he’s in the bedroom. That will draw a man to you. Let him go out with his boy and don’t trip if he hangs out late occasionally.
He’ll respect you more for that. “Baby have fun” and let him go without texting him.
If you must text say something freaky. Like: “when you get here we might not even make it to the bed“.

START respecting each other. Everyone has their own definition of what that means.
Just make the person feel like their opinion matters. You can do that with your actions, words, feelings, etc.

A person can lose someone’s trust very easily. START with honesty & communication to maintain it or gain it back. Trust is the foundation of a good healthy relationship. If you trust the person you are with it will eliminate jealously. Plenty of relationships have taken a turn for the worse due to trust issues. STOP holding on to the past. If you forgiven a person and trust the person again do me a favor and don’t bring up the past. Nobody wants to hear what they did last time they lost your trust. The person didn’t forget what they did. If you decided to move forward, then do it. You can’t go forward while looking backwards.


My favorite one! Great sex is a must in a relationship, so START having it! I’m not just talking about conventional ‘only in the bed’ sex.
I don’t care how great your cookie or hot dog is, STOP having regular sex, you gotta to change it up! Trying new things is always a great idea. Don’t always have sex in the bed or at night.
Do it in the morning before work, in the middle of the day on lunch break,
on the floor, table, outside, in the car… This is the time when your body does all the talking. Start a false argument with him. Yes! Have some make up sex! We all know it can be the best. If you’re in a relationship with someone with a high sex drive, don’t! I repeat don’t turn your woman/man down! I know there will be times when you’re too tired for sex, but it’s a big problem when every time your mate is ready, you’re like “not tonight babe”. The saying is so true: what you won’t do, someone else will. So make sure the person doing for your partner is YOU!

About the Author

A native of Flint, Michigan, Bianca's positive attitude allows her to compassionately 'keep it real' while influencing her peers with an infectious personality. Her passion for reading, writing and sports will one day spire to a sportscaster position with a major television network. Already an accredited author, her self-published first novel "Lovers of Words" was released when Bianca was only 19 years old. She now looks forward to the release of her second novel, eagerly pursuing the day that her name will appear on the bestselling chart.




  1. Shardae

    I agree with some and disagree with some. Overall nice article. Proud of you “B”

    • Juice

      Awesome work B. Seems like you have an idea of how relationships should operate and how to maintain healthy partnerships. BRAVO!!!

      • Thanks so much Juice!

    • Thanks for reading my article Shardae. I’ve been knowing you since we were younger. You’ve always been very honest. I”m going to inbox you on facebook to see what you disagree with. I mean your married so I love learning news things. Again thanks for reading it. I love you so much!

    • Shardae, interested to know what you disagree with and why?
      Get at us right here.

  2. Very insightful post. Hope to see more from you!

    • Bianca Avery

      Hey when you get the chance email me at biancaavery@gmail.com and thanks so much appreciate it. You will see more!

  3. Delnita

    How old are you? Aren’t you my lil cousin? I kinda felt like you were calling me out at times. lol You are such an insighful and wise young lady. :) Overall, you hit on some great points for those in relationships. I like the “start and stop” formatting. Great job Bianca!! Love you!

  4. Mekka

    This artical is absolute truth…i love it…im proud of u B

  5. Zakiya

    Great Job B!!!!! Seems like you got it all down…I agree with u!!!

  6. Conna

    Great work B.. :)

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