…Inside The Black Man's World


November 28, 2011

The Case For The Mature Woman

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Written by: sgaither
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Since the dawn of civilization, the general rule of thumb has been that in terms of sex and relationships, men go younger and women go older. And it made sense. Women generally sought security and men sought fertility and beauty. That’s just how things have always worked. Like most of our oldest beliefs regarding sex and relationships, however, this dynamic has been challenged heavily in recent years.

Whether you’re watching Reality TV or observing patterns of real life, you’re much more likely to see an attractive 40-something woman with a 20-something man around her arm today than you were 20 years ago. Hell, Vivica A. Fox is making a second career out of being a Cougar.

As a 26 year old male that has always been attracted to older women, I’m loving it! Here’s what you need to know:

The most obvious thing that separates a mature woman in her 30′s and 40′s from their 20-something counterparts is experience. The mature woman has been in love, had her heart broken and broken a few of her own, usually several times over. This may cause some to be overly guarded, but generally speaking it helps the mature woman to analyze potential male interest and keeps their expectations level. They aren’t expecting to find a Prince Charming, just a man that will be honest and up front about what he wants. They tend to be more understanding and patient than younger women, as long as you don’t try to play them.

…best of all, the mature woman has her own. She’s not looking for a man to take care of her…

Mature women also tend to have a greater confidence in their looks. Fellas, you ever met a female that you thought was absolutely stunning, only to find out she was the only one who didn’t realize it? The average 20-something woman is a huge consumer of Pop Culture. Music, Reality Television, blogs and magazines constantly send out messages of what is and isn’t sexy. Many women who may not resemble these fantasy-based caricatures struggle with image issues, which sometimes lead them to unhealthy relationships and behaviors. The mature woman has gone through these struggles and couldn’t give a shit less because she knows what she has is priceless. What could be sexier than that?

Perhaps best of all, the mature woman has her own. This sista has a full-time job with benefits, her own place, a car that’s paid for and she can definitely buy her own damn drink! She’s not looking for a man to take care of her, but she definitely isn’t looking to take care of a man either. But if you treat her right, from time-to-time, she will definitely spoil you a little bit. She’s not looking for a sponsor, she looking for a partner with mutual benefits.

And fellas, if you’re looking for romance, you’ve hit the jackpot. Again, the experience of the mature woman is invaluable in this part of the relationship. She’s had enough bad sex to recognize and appreciate good sex. And she doesn’t mind teaching, if you’re willing to learn. She knows that when it comes to matters of the bedroom, it’s all give-and-take. That’s all I’ll say for now, in the interest of keeping it PG.

The younger man/older woman dynamic can be a fun and exciting experience for both parties. She can open him up to a whole new world and he can tap into the youthfulness in her spirit that a man her age or older no longer appreciates. This relationship will sizzle in, and out of the bedroom!

“The Case For The Mature Woman”, out of 5 based on 1 ratings.

About the Author

Award-winning college journalist. Serial Blogger. Old School R&B fanatic. Stonecold Gentleman.




  1. max

    As a mature woman, I approve this message.

  2. Tee

    Well sir…this is a pretty awesome article!!! Love it!!!

  3. Loved the article! I’m in my early 30′s…guess I need a few more years on me before I can dip into the bowl for a youngin! Cougarville is on pause for now but in another 10….watch out! lol

  4. Lorraine

    Finally a man that hit it right on the head several times over.

  5. EXQUISITE…………..

  6. Lady Nai

    Wow, yes u did hit the nail right on the head. I just got into my 30′s and my fiance is 26…..I’m loving every moment and wouldn’t want it any other way.

  7. Afrodesia

    You are wise for your age Youngin’….lol….and a great study of women. I hope you are putting that wisdom to good use besides blogging. :)

  8. atlsweetmilf

    aaawh my young sweetheart speaking the truth!

  9. yuminsideout


  10. ChgoSista

    Wow–at first I was going to say that the 20/30-something y.o. men need to print out a copy of this article and keep it in their wallets–but after thinking about it some more, men of ALL ages can gain valuable insight from this piece, as well. Good stuff–good stuff, indeed…

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