…Inside The Black Man's World


October 12, 2011

Playboys Don’t Date or Hang-out…They Flirt!

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Written by: Jack Tha Kid
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Now really do we always gotta pay for dinner? I know my boys wanting to be players out there at times are thinking it’s just easier to pay for “Diamond” on the street corner than it is to pay for dinner and a movie with your sweet innocent “Lisa” who you’re trying to charm, romance and of course lay pipe! The obvious answer is NO! You don’t have to always pay for dinner and you don’t have to go to dinner at all. If you want her to be your Bona-fide girl, then you might have to pony up some dough at the beginning. If what you are looking for however is to have casual sex and bounce around a bit with the ladies, the smart play is to abandon this approach.

In this article, what Tha Kid is gonna do is let my peoples in on the do’s and don’ts of the dating game. First thing you novices out there gotta figure out is that you have to immediately from the jump be able to make a date, and hanging out, indistinguishable to the subject of your affection. No matter how much you’re feeling the broad, you gotta be cool and collected and leave her wondering if what you are on is a date or a hang out session. I really don’t give a shit how much you say you want her or like her, the moment it’s seen as a date you’re screwed if what you want is sex without commitment. Dates are testing sessions for women to see how you would be as a boyfriend; the very thing you may be running from due to your commitment issues (All players and wanna be players have em). Leave the dates for when you and the chick are already an item. Otherwise you are just messing with your Mojo.

…understand that what women want has less to do with what they say they want and more to do with what their emotions tell ‘em

Let me be clear that if what you want from this woman is for her to be your girlfriend, then go ahead and pay up for a few dates and if by the second or third she hasn’t at least reached for her purse when the check comes… Sorry playboy, she ain’t the one for you. You gonna be a lap dog for her whenever she’s lonely and wants to go out. She will be hanging out while you dating your ass off. Check yourselves and be warned, they gotta be reaching for that purse by the third date or else you not only getting no pussy, but you are getting played. You don’t have to let them pay, but they better reach for that leather bag they keep their coin in.

Now onto my minions who are not interested in her as a girlfriend and want to simply bed her. Let me begin by defining the date and the hang out, then show how to blend them seamlessly. You gotta understand that what women want has less to do with what they say they want and more to do with what their emotions tell ‘em to do at the given time. Tell you the truth, fuck what you heard, but we men are the same way. Difference between men and women in this regard is simply that it’s more accepted for women to go with the emotional shit while we gotta play up the macho image. Either way, we do what we do and keep it moving at all times.

The Date

It masks itself as this romantic occurrence when what it really is, is a meeting of two people who usually have two entirely different objectives pretending they are in sync with each other… C’mon son! Why guys try to fool themselves into thinking that a “date” will lead to quick unattached sex, Tha Kid will never know. Women on the first date want to be pampered, humored and intrigued while keeping their wallets full; meanwhile the dude is left wondering if he’s gonna try to kiss her; how much he is going to spend; if she likes him and all that other shit. Heavy flirting is required while on a date as well to keep it known to the woman you are interested and as usual, the man has to take the lead in this. Like I was sayin’, same event with two different experiences. Bottom line, only date her if you want her as your main chick.

Hanging Out

Unlike dating, hanging out can be what ever you make it and happen at the spur of the moment or be planned. It’s much less formal and can be done in a variety of places. Problem with hanging out is that it’s so informal that we get caught up in believing that just being around the broad is enough to make her like us and we forget to flirt… ABF (Always Be Flirting)… Gotta keep your eye on the prize at all times fellas. The comfort of the hangout leaves the untrained simp too at ease with the situation while thinking he can make his move whenever he wants. Average dude tells a girl he wants to hang with her and next thing he knows, after enjoying herself she says she has to bounce to get ready for a date. The blatant hangout leads to the blatant blue balls, which leads to the blatant “self rub” if you can taste what I’m cooking! As cool and laid back as it is to just hang with a woman, you still got to treat her as a woman and not a buddy if you want to get you junior member wet.

You can see that both hanging and dating have their pitfalls and if your end game is to get in the girl’s pants quickly, it’s inefficient as all hell.

Last thing you want to do as an aspiring playboy is play to either of these extremes and even worse; to spell out to the girl that what you are doing with her is dating or hanging. NEVER let them know. Period!

So what am I saying exactly you may be asking? I’m saying mix that shit up and never let the female know if you dating or just hanging out. In other words, even if you just chillin on the block or having a quick lunch; make the occasional sex joke and/or touch her in a flirty way. Likewise, if your going out to dinner with her; when the bill comes ask her if its cool if you split it, then like nuthin on the way home buy her some ice cream or pay for the movie tickets if that’s the next stop. On other occasions grab the bill, pay and think nuthin of it (of course you planned it this way from the jump). Confusion is key to maintaining the upper hand. Awkwardness is a good thing when dealing with women; it keeps the sexual tension up and please, please don’t worry about being “friend zoned” (see my article Fuck a Friend Zone)
Once there is that tension, you will have her attention.

In closing (that sounded proper as a mutha fucka)… Ehem… What y’all dudes need to do is keep the birds guessing at all times. That keeps them off balance, and when prey is off balance it is the easiest time to get em on their backs!

That’s what it is fellas… Trust Tha Kid; have I let you down yet? Holla at your boy! Till next time… and remember ABF!

My last post: When Did you Become a Cougar and Stop Being a Pussy…cat? 

About the Author

Jack Tha Kid
Jack Richards, or Tha Kid as he is affectionately known; or maybe not… Either way, this man has some strong opinions about everything there is to be said when it comes to relationships, sex and style.  Always willing to give his advice to those willing and able to listen, he is an interesting and surely controversial Mind of Zadishe at www.jackthakid.com and columnist at www.whatblackmenwant.com.



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