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October 2, 2011

When Did You Become a Cougar & Stop Being a Pussy… Cat?

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Written by: Jack Tha Kid
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So when do women become Cougars (not to be confused with MILFs which is a topic I will get to eventually)? There are two ways of looking at the Cougar-Dom of females and I’ll explore both of them in this post. We could just look up Cougar in the Urban Dictionary, but as you can see for yourself that you would have to decipher between countless definitions. Now ladies don’t get upset when I dig in, just gonna spit some truth here and tell it like it is…

In the world of females, first and foremost fellas you gotta understand that they attach a lot and at times most of their self-esteem and value in society on their appearance. The 8’s, 9’s and 10’s of the world attach even more and are the ones that take it the hardest as they age, and probably lower the cougar age a bit more than your run of the mill 7’s and down on the hotness scale. (No. I’m not saying which chicks are 8 up or 7 down… you know who you are).

Tha Kid isn’t gonna go too deep into the psychology and shit regarding women, let’s just say that I have coined the phrase

The Female Decade of Dominance” (FDOD) as the years between 18-28. Those are the years where dudes literally throw money, attention and anything else they can at a woman to get their attention and pussy.

While in that age range, women don’t look to, care for, or give two shits about anything prior to or after the 10 year stretch. Unfortunately many woman regard it as the prime of their lives. They are young, usually with few responsibilities and know that they can have sex whenever they want. They can even be sluts, and in their mind still have time to re-brand themselves “good girls” later in life.

What I’m about to do for the people right now is break up the cougars into the two predominant cougar entry ages out there; 30 and 40 years old. I’m gonna give a little bonus and let the masses in on some characteristics of each cougar group as well… I know, I’m such a nice guy! Those wondering why I am splitting Cougs into two distinct sections; It has to be done cause women are women and that makes them crazy people when it comes to logic and reason. So here goes…

The 30 and ups (PUMAS)

The first set of cougs are the 30 and up classification. Some call the 30 year old a PUMA and some just say a mature women, but an odd thing has been happening over the past few years… the cougar age has slowly but surely been decreasing. 5 years ago a coug was definitely a 40 and up woman, and ever since women have been re-classifying what a cougar is on an almost daily basis. Ladies… you are your own worst enemy most of the time… just saying.

There was a study done by the Daily News (Article here) that says women feel old at 29 while it takes men the ripe old age of 58 before we begin to think we are over the hill. This speaks to the insanity that is the woman’s damn mental state. At 29… really, give me a fucking break!

Moving along, once a woman has it in her head that she is a Coug, there is no turning back nor coming to grips with her that she is not as old as she mentally feels. With The FDOD over, whether women want to admit it or not, their standards for which men they want or think they can get lower considerably. Ironically, as women are leaving their FDOD; We men are just entering our 3 Decade dominant stretch… if you could only see the smile on my face.

… you know it’s true though don’t you? Not all of you, but the 30 year old Coug is a spiteful breed of woman.

The 30 year Coug as stated above is usually a very attractive woman used to getting anything she wants and is now starting to see her 21 year old competition each time she goes out. Silently she hates her and rabidly wants to be her again, but knows she has real responsibilities and can’t be all free and shit like before. This leads her to simply hate in silence or sit around talking with her other 30 something girls about how slutty those young bitches are etc. etc. Ladies, if I’m lying let me know… you know it’s true though don’t you? Not all of you, but the 30 year old coug is a spiteful breed of woman. That brings us to the more generous, kind and pleasant cougar entry…

The 40 and ups (Tha Real Cougs)

Here now is the OG definition and cougar entry age. We men love us some 40 year old cougar like we love us some us. Totally unencumbered by the social stereotypes and in absolute control of what it is they want at all times. Just reaching their sexual peaks, woman at this stage are tons and tons of fun. I have a sneaky suspicion that the 40 year old Coug or Real Coug as I like to say, wants to slap those 30 year old bitches and tell em to go and fuck like they were 21. You see, the 10 year period following their FDOD has taught the 40 year old the tricks of the trade to go with their new found passion for the fuck, along with serving them with humble pie regarding the ease of sex. One of the most humbling things about this age for women is the fact that they look at their male contemporaries being the same age and having no issues at all banging 21 year-olds at their leisure. Sorry to tell you this women, but this stage in a man’s life lasts deep into his 50s and the cougar knows this. Why you ask… simple, the cougar remembers that she herself was riding the tool of a 45 or 50 year old when she was 21 while not giving the 21 year old dude the time of day. It’s a damn shame the way life goes and gets all fucking even and shit isn’t it?

The 40 year old cougar also usually has kids and other responsibilities much more important than any dick she may be getting at the time so the sex is guilt free, casual and non-committal. There is no need for romance and all that lovey shit. Just straight friction creating boot knocking. No roses or chocolates when you show up for your booty call either, simply a jimmy and a trench coat.

So those are the main two entry ages for cougars in 2011 (By 2012 women will probably move the earlier entry age to 25 or something; just watch) and to answer the title of this article; a Cougar is any woman regardless of age who thinks they are one, Once a dame has wrapped her pretty little head around the fact that they’re not as young and cute as they thought they were a few years back… its cougar time and there is no turning back.

My advice to the cougars out there is to go in! Get yourself a young dude and fuck like a rabbit. Pay for his shit, do his laundry or whatever the fuck he asks you to do. Remember, he can and will be hitting chicks half your age so don’t get all high and mighty on him either. Do your piece and he will break you off some of his.

Any of you cougars out there ready to give it up, just for the sake of great sex? Holla at your Boy!

My last post: She is NOT your Soul Mate



About the Author

Jack Tha Kid
Jack Richards, or Tha Kid as he is affectionately known; or maybe not… Either way, this man has some strong opinions about everything there is to be said when it comes to relationships, sex and style.  Always willing to give his advice to those willing and able to listen, he is an interesting and surely controversial Mind of Zadishe at www.jackthakid.com and columnist at www.whatblackmenwant.com.




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One Comment


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