whatblackmenwant
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September 22, 2011

She is NOT your Soul Mate…

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Written by: Jack Tha Kid
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Young couple (Soul Mate)

So she is your one and only huh?! Stop being a clown and man up! Tha Kid is about to delve into a serious issue today that afflicts not only men but woman alike. That issue is the dreaded… Wait for it… Wait for it… Oneitis! Some of you may be saying to yourself, what the hell is Tha Kid talking about now? Is this another one of his oh so crazy philosophies and theories on dating? Well… actually… yeah it is. But here is the great thing about Tha Kid and his outlandish theories; They are right! I would feel wrong to not share with the world the gift I have been granted, namely, the ability to see through the bullshit and spit it out for those who don’t want to. Ok, that is probably just about enough patting myself on the back for now, onto the Oneitis issue.

When someone contracts Oneitis they only see one person in front of them that is their “one and only” or “soul mate” or “perfect mate”.

Oneitis is a disease that I assume everyone has been burdened with from time to time. It is a lot like the flu I guess, it never truly goes away, but if you are vigilant and stay clean and alert you contract it less often. When someone does contract Oneitis all they see is the one person that is their “one and only” or “soul mate” or “perfect match”. Of course once over this crush or love spell, we look back on it and say, “what the fuck was I thinking/doing all that shit for her.” Even Tha Kid himself has had his moments of Oneitis and had to slap myself in the face hard to get out of it.

When crushing on someone, we tend to build that person up to be perfect, flawless, no matter what our friends or our brain is telling us about the blemishes of that person. The high of thinking you will, or could possibly be with this person totally masks every pimple, wart or third eye they may have. To be clear, Oneitis does at times end up working out very well and once married, Oneitis is a great disease to have indeed. The strain of Oneitis I am talking about today is the one when you and the person of your desires are both non committed to anything passed dating. This strand can take years from your life and the joy out of your soul. If you are looking for a sexual partner or girlfriend/boyfriend, then do that, but not at the risk of narrowing your choices to 1 in 6,750,000,000 people in the world. Look at that number again and think of how asinine that really is.

Now to be rid of Oneitis isn’t as easy as drinking some orange juice and taking some antibiotics; for Oneitis you need dedication and discipline. The trap of Oneitis is that is uses one of the most powerful laws of attraction against us. The law that states, if we can’t have it, we want it and if it is a chase, we will chase it to the end of the world if we think we have a chance. If we don’t think we have a chance we will convince ourselves we do, and then chase it to the end of the earth. You digging what I’m saying right now. We decide we want what we want and then become obsessed with it; in this case a person. The problem with Oneitis, while all romantic and shit to think that one person is your soul mate, is that the person is not your fucking soul mate dude.

Women love men who can attract and are adored by other women; so that woman you are chasing down will more than likely…

So here is how you get out of Oneitis in 3 steps:

  1. Look at the person you are obsessed with and literally force yourself to find 5 flaws they have, and if you are having a hard time doing that then ask a friend and don’t get mad when they give you the truth.
  2. Ask yourself, why are you really obsessed with this person? For what reason? And if you did actually end up in a relationship with them, would it really last or was it all about the chase?
  3. Finally, date other people for fucks sake… go out, date, and have crazy wild sex with any and every woman you can. I promise that within a week or two you will start to understand the folly of your ways.

To wrap it up. If you are not married or in a committed relationship with a woman and you are not dating anyone but one person, you are showing the symptoms of Oneitis, and need to get healthy. Women love men who can attract and are adored by other women; so that woman you are chasing down, will more than likely be on your dick if she knew you had many options. The only exception to this rule of course is my homeboy Pepe Le Pew who has the worst case of Oneitis on record, but is so gangsta about it, he makes the damn disease look cool and shit. Anyways…

There is much more to this story and this disease, this is simply an editorial piece and not a thesis however, so I digress.

Oh on a final note, Fellas, it is a great thing when all the Ladies have a case of Oneitis and you are the crush… I got that medicine for you girls. Holla!

My last post: Women; Stop Lying about What you Want



About the Author

Jack Tha Kid
Jack Richards, or Tha Kid as he is affectionately known; or maybe not… Either way, this man has some strong opinions about everything there is to be said when it comes to relationships, sex and style.  Always willing to give his advice to those willing and able to listen, he is an interesting and surely controversial Mind of Zadishe at www.jackthakid.com and columnist at www.whatblackmenwant.com.




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13 Comments


  1. Annie

    “go out, date, and have crazy wild sex with any and every woman you can. I promise that within a week or two you will start to understand the folly of your ways.”

    Ummm No! Sounds like a great tip on catching “one” or more of a few diseases or becoming a baby daddy to alot of women you could give a F&** about. And,then, you will definitely have “Oneitis” for sure, cuz no one is going to want your ass. Don’t listen to a fool if you don’t want to be viewed as foolish.


  2. Jonnie

    Really “Annie”… In that entire piece the only thing you picked and end up critiquing is that one quote. I think what Tha Kid says makes some sense and I am able to see that he was just using effect to say “go out and date.” But that is IMHO.
    Preach on brother, I’m a fan!


    • Annie

      Yep, Jonnie! That is the piece that I picked out. Didn’t say the premise of the article was bad. Just thought this tip made no friggin’ sense. It’s kind of like, I’m going to do an article on saving money and give some tips…

      Tip#1 – save 10% of your income when you get your paycheck
      Tip#2 – diversify and put your investments in different accounts and/or funds.
      Tip#3 – throw money out the window or put under the mattress in case of emergency.

      Well, the premise of my article is good, but not all my tips. Tip #3 is dumb, just plain dumb. So….that’s how I felt about this point in the article. Going out and dating is a good thing, but having sex with as many women as possible is just not a good idea. I don’t care how you spin it. Don’t give me the thing on wrapping it up, because condoms can and do fail. When the brother that takes this dumb advice ends up with a child or two or three that he didn’t intend to have to avoid “Oneitis”. He’ll see the folly of this advice. Or, he ends up catching a disease that a drug or shot can’t cure, he’ll be wishing someone told him the truth.
      So, sorry. My opinion still stands. “FAIL!”


      • Jonnie

        No need to be sorry and further of course your opinion stands… It is your opinion, everyone has one right? But since you feel it necessary to overstate how much it stands I will say mine does as well.
        What was it that was “FAIL” anyway? Just wondering…


      • carolyn Lewis

        the comments I read it seems like these folks have oneisitis for real. They cannot grasp what you are saying. I understand completely and I am a female. He is not saying fuck any and everything JUST FUCK


        • Annie

          Hi Carolyn: Let’s keep it one hundred. Since there have only been a few folks that have commented on this article, I’m assuming that your comments are directed to me. Nope. I promise you, I don’t have “oneitis”. And, I truly understand the concept completely. Never ONCE did I say that the article’s premise wasn’t good.

          However, I will say that FUCKING a bunch of people to avoid “oneitis” is some serious business with some serious consequences. The last time I checked, it can lead to AIDS, Chlamydia, Herpes, Gonorrhea, etc…. Or, if you’re lucky to escape a disease, you may end up getting someone pregnant. Child support for one or more kids is not a cake walk. And, all this to avoid oneitis. Hmmm…seems like a really high cost to me.

          That is all I am saying. If you think I have oneitis or don’t have basic comprehension skills, you have a right to your opinion.


          • CEO

            Wow Annie, bringing the fyah as usual. @JackThaKid really knows how to hit the spot with our viewers.


    • Jonnie, thank you for clarifying and pointing out that Tha Kid does go to the extremes to get his point across; which you seemed to have picked up, ON POINT! I’m also sure, and hope that our readers appreciate the satirical approach of his “advice”.


  3. Annie

    Using satire and extremes is fine to make a point. However, to advocate for f*%^^$$ a bunch of women to avoid being “stuck on stupid’ behind some chick is dumb advice.

    When HIV is running rampant thru the black community — along with the majority of black children growing up in single parent homes, this type of advice should be questioned. I understand “your readers” are intelligent enough to appreciate a satirical approach, but I’m also sure that they can appreciate a well-balanced, common sense approach to the articles and opinions provided. Just sayin’….


    • Annie, I think you’re missing the whole approach of “Tha Kid”. Speaking for myself, I don’t take what he writes as advice, merely statements from his point of view to provoke thought and maybe instigate a little man vs woman banter. Again, if you want straight advice from Tha Kid, hit him up directly, he is more than willing to take on questions. However, we are not liable nor responsible and do not endorse that you follow what he may ‘advise’. Holla @ him.


      • Annie

        Uncle Suave, help me understand how I am missing Tha Kid’s approach? Not trying to get into a pissing match, BUT…..last time I checked everyone has a perspective and opinion. My opinion is that one of Tha Kid’s tips from this article was dumb — plain and simple. Some may call it satirical, extreme, tongue-in-check, funny, etc… However, my opinion is that while the premise of the article makes sense and was a good read, this one point was dumb and irrresponsible. So, that’s what I responded to. What did I miss?


        • Annie, you missed nothing. I absolutely agree with you that his ‘tip’ to “…have crazy wild sex with any and every woman you can.” is by no means good or positive. I will go further and say that I personally strongly advise against that type of irresponsible behavior. Real talk.
          Cheers Annie.


  4. carolyn

    I completely understand what he is saying. You all must really have oneisit to get so upset about only one point he made. If the truth was told he has stepped on your foot or toe and the truth hurts. At one point in my life I had oneisit and i was miserable. I could have written this myself. He is telling the god love me truth.



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