So, here I am again struggling on the threshing floor…yes, me! Mr. I got it all together and going places… Mr. money right and big investments…Me! I’ve tried to do it all my own way, and while others see success and prosperity the truth of the matter is I’ve failed and I am as empty as a milk canister. Yes…another successful, but broken black man hiding behind all the glories of his worldly successes, but his soul cries empty. I’ve searched all over for solutions and they have all proved to be temporary, but tonight I’ve found myself crying out to God! I am certain that he’ll lead me on that sweet path to righteousness. The tears start to run deep and the spirit of heaviness starts to overtake me, as I walk down the long corridor of my old-Victorian home. It has a modern twist, as I stand in the door way of my prayer room. Despite what I’m feeling tonight feels like the night where I get free from all this and reunite with my Lord and Saviour. I move from the physical stance of standing to laying prostate on the floor, and I slowly plead my case before the Lord.
I start by explaining my short-comings, and why I continue to fornicate and fail to live by the Book of Law. But, as I uttered my broken and humble cry I hear the voice of Elizabeth, a woman I frequently have sex and enjoy intellectual conversations with about anything from economics to religion. “Well, you’re never gonna be a perfect man and you sure ain’t a saint. But baby you sure know how to put it down on me!”. I shut down that voice and reminded myself I am destined to get free tonight.
I lay there for a while longer as I free myself from every word and sentence of
conviction, heartache and bondage that form my simple prayer and begin to feel the rapid release of burdens falling off my back. I’ve come to the end of another heartfelt experience between me and my God, however it seems like he’s not through with me. As I get up off the floor I see a big pool of tears that looks like the Red Sea…and I think to myself I’ve surely got free tonight.
As I prepare myself for bed, it only seems right that I close the night with the reading of His Holy Word. So, I flip through the Bible and find myself reading Joshua 1:3-9…
“3Every place upon which the sole of your foot shall tread, that have I given to you, as I promised Moses.4From the wilderness and this Lebanon to the
great river Euphrates–all the land of the [Hittites [Canaan]–and to the Great [Mediterranean] Sea on the west shall be your territory. 5No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you.6Be strong (confident) and of good courage, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land which I swore to their fathers to give them.7Only you be strong and very courageous, that you may do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you. Turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success. 9Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with
you wherever you go.”
With the top right-hand corner of the page folded, I turn to my favourite book, Jeremiah, it always had a word for me when I used to read the bible on a daily basis. This routine seems to have died a few years ago, but it is resurrected tonight. And there I am stuck on
Jeremiah 29:11…a sure promise!
for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
After reading those scriptures, I’m only left with the conviction to walk with Christ. As I place my bible on the night stand it hits the radio and the internationally known gospel artist and Pastor, Donnie McClurkin, is singing his hit” We Fall Down”…I’ve surely found my permanent solution.
Will you rise and follow Christ?