I figured since I am always talking to my knuckle dragging fellow dudes out there, I should maybe take the time in one post to address a serious concern that many of my female friends seem to have. Namely, “How do I find a man?” The answer to that hella question is not a light or easy one to decipher, but then again I am Tha Kid and will no doubt take a stab at it for the fairer sex.
First off, you women out there need to stop pretending! What I mean by that is stop pretending what you want is the good dude who is ready to settle down and be at your beck and call… all that shit sounds good in theory, but let’s face it; that type of dude does not get your panties wet and your ‘down below’ pulsing. The sooner you are able to dispel that one falsity and move towards the truism that is the quintessential jerk, the sooner will you be better off for it. Let me delve deeper into what it is I am preaching about right now; a guy who is a sap and a follower is not sexy! Period. End of discussion.
So let’s assume now that you are past that whole “you want a nice guy thing,” it’s time to pick out your special brand of jerk/bad boy/rebel or whatever you want to call him. Let me be clear before I go any further… I am not saying you need to get yourself a criminal or drug dealer or someone who is literally dangerous for you to be around! Now that we have cleared that up we can move forward. What I was saying is that you need to figure out exactly what type of bad boy makes you happy and date him… did you hear what I just said? Date him! Not get into a relationship with him, or commit to him. Date him first with no expectations and no promises. Just see if you like the dude. I am not going to tell you the male secrets or anything, but the fastest way to chase a dude you like away is to show too much clinginess from the jump. Further, when you are a little too eager, the jerk inside the jerk gets stronger and stronger to the point of you ending up despising the same guy you were initially attracted to.
Here is the thing; in the woman’s heart of hearts they don’t really want the guy who just got out of a relationship because they think he is still in love with his ex. They pretend they don’t really want the happily single dude who wants no part of a relationship (even though their private parts crave the solo independent guy). What ends up happening is that women settle for the guy who is seeking out a relationship and then they wonder why he is such a softie and uninteresting when they get to know him. He is uninteresting because his whole being was to please you enough to get you, and once got, his true colors come out. What does that leave us with then… yep, what women really want is the same as their private parts; they want the interesting dude that you can’t seem to figure out. Have you ever heard the saying nothing worth getting is easy? Well, there it is in a nutshell. The chase is just as exciting for men as it is for women, just that we revel in it. And you women being the guardians and gatekeepers of sex; it’s easier for you to breakdown and indulge out of desperation or weakness.
So to recap for you ladies and for you soft dudes too. Start by dating with no commitment, that way you won’t get hurt. Maybe a little crush that ends will sting but at least you won’t be moping in bed watching soaps eating a tub of ice cream. Only when you are doing your own thing and not looking for a relationship, instead you are looking for fun and meeting new people, will a really good dude come to you and you to him. Sounds simple huh? Problem is that you damn women will still want that commitment right away (not all of you off course – refer to my post Leave the Virgins; Try a Slut, Get a Freak not a Ho!) and then get upset when the guy you are actually attracted to doesn’t want the same thing initially, leading to the nice dude and the fucking circle goes on and on and on and on…
I swear I am not bullshitting you on this one. Take if from Tha Kid… Where y’all clingy chicks at? Holla!